thesettingsun | Recolle IC Inbox

. . . I don't really like seeing you hurt at all.

[His stomach twists a little. Even if it isn't that bad, seeing Shuji hurt and not doing anything for him feels wrong. The only thing is that he isn't sure what to do to make it better. As much as there's a lot he wants, and probably needs, to talk to Shuji about, they're both so fucking tired.]

[He doesn't know what the right answer is. He wishes he did. For a moment his hand comes up to fiddle with his crucifix; he feels the warmth of it from where it was tucked against Shuji for so long.]

Hey. Shuji, you're incredible. You know that?

[As tired as Shuji is, he does still have the energy to fluster at compliments. Even if that only means blushing a little and looking aside.]

Not as much as you, for sure.

No, listen--

[He shifts a little and looks at Shuji and--Shuji could've died and they never would've had another conversation. That would've been it. No more--this, whatever this is or could be. What a stupid ending to a good story.]

You didn't think you could survive that, but you did. You made it when you didn't think you could. That's fucking incredible, Shuji.

[Shuji shakes his head at the praise. He wants to accept it, but...]

If it hadn't been for you, I probably wouldn't have even gotten out of the building. You're the incredible one here.

Once you got out of there, though, and we got separated, you didn't freeze up. You kept going. It wasn't just me.

[He shoots Shuji a crooked smile.]

You don't have to agree with me. I know I'm right.

I guess I can't argue with you then.

[Mista's still the amazing one, though. Even if he doesn't believe it.]

I didn't have to get you a new cross after all. Which is good, because I wouldn't know how to pick out a good one.

It'd be good 'cause you picked it.

[Mista loops his arm around Shuji's shoulder and draws him in close, nodding sagely.]

But I'm glad you brought this one back, 'cause it's got Shuji power in it now. It'll make me stronger.

All my good feelings will give you a boost.

[...They should probably talk about that, but also Shuji doesn't want to ever get further away from Mista than this. A dilemma.]

Yeah. For sure.

[It . . . isn't the most committal answer, but he is admittedly distracted by the sudden reminder of Good Feelings. That thing they both know they need to talk about. Hm.]

[How about if he sort of hints at the subject instead of confronting it head-on, that's helpful.]

My good feelings about you give you a boost, too, cross or no cross. So that's a fair trade, right?

[They really, really should talk about it directly.

Which Shuji can't manage right away.]

Your good feelings are the best and I'm grateful. Even if they're not exactly the same.

[Okay, this is still progress. Slow, agonizing progress. Mista glances at Shuji, then away, and then he makes himself look back because come on, Guido, get it together.]

They're not?

...Promise me you won't hate me after this. No matter what, I'm glad we're friends. I don't want to lose that. You can forget I said anything if you want to.

[Just let him stay where he is, feeling warm and safe with Mista.]

Shuji.

[Mista sits up a little straighter and gives Shuji a level look. Very serious, for him.]

I'm never not gonna be your friend. I'm never gonna hate you. Ever. I swear.

[Shuji trusts Mista. He'll always trust Mista, and especially when he's being serious like this.

So he breathes in, and forces the words out with his exhale.]

I like you as more than just a friend. Romantically.

[Even with the reassurance, he's tense. Worried that this is too weird, too creepy, too something, and it's going to change how Mista thinks of him.]

[There it is.]

[Mista--grins. Some subtle tension in his shoulders releases, relaxing nerves that he was trying so hard not to show or even think about. He wasn't wrong, or misinterpreting. He's just been incredibly fucking slow, which isn't so unusual anyway. Especially with something like this.]

[God, Shuji's so nervous, though. It's cute, which is probably mean, but that's just how it is. He reaches out, hesitates, and then closes the distance, pushing Shuji's hair out of his face fondly.]

Good. That means we're on the same page, you and me.

[We're on the same page, Mista says, with his hand in Shuji's hair and sitting so close that Shuji could just kiss him if he tried, but-

That's not the answer he expected, and he doesn't know how to process it at first. The same page. Mista feels the same way. As in he likes Shuji as more than a friend. Romantically.

Shuji's eyes are wide, his face is red, and he should really have a poetic line prepared for Mista returning his feelings, something to suit the moment, but he's never even considered that this would happen.]

...You, um. We are?

[So all that he can manage are a few unpoetic words.]

Yeah. At least I think so? I--

[Boy, Shuji's flustered response is pretty contagious. Mista was nervous before, but he knew what he wanted to say; now it's all flown out of his head. Does that reaction mean Shuji doesn't want him to feel the same way? Is it weird that he does? What's even happening?]

[He chews his lip for a moment and tries again.]

It's just I've been thinking about it a while and trying to figure out how, you know, what I was feeling and stuff, and I don't know--I don't know, you're my friend but you're . . . when I make you smile I feel like I won something incredible, and I think I've been flirting with you for months, and I like it a lot, and I just--

[Fuck. He clears his throat and tries again.]

'M sorry I took so fucking long, and I'm sorry if I'm doing this all wrong, but Jesus, Shuji. Yeah--I'm in love with you.

[And that, that's something Shuji can't possibly doubt. Even with all his conviction that telling Mista about his crush would only ruin their friendship, and that there was no way Mista would return his feelings- He can't deny it now.

The blush doesn't abate, but his eyes go even wider - and then he breaks out into the biggest smile Mista's ever seen on his face.]

You - of course you're doing it perfectly, I never thought you would - Mista-

[This time, when he clings to Mista, it's not because he's terrified or he needs to reassure himself that Mista's still alive and well. This time it's because the person he loves the most told him he loves him, and his heart will burst out of his chest if he doesn't do something.]

[He lets out an oof when Shuji grabs hold of him again, but let's be real, he doesn't mind. Surprised or not, instinct tells him to wrap his arms around Shuji tight and pull him as close as he can, and that's an instinct that serves him well pretty much every time. Shuji is incredibly huggable.]

That's my name.

[It's a dumb joke that he doesn't put much effort into, and it's not that convincing, either, because he's grinning so hard it sounds in his voice. He rubs the space in between Shuji's shoulderblades and finally gives into the urge to bury his face in Shuji's hair.]

[Shuji is very huggable, and his hair is soft and he likes Mista playing with it and touching his back. He is very in favor of everything that's happening right now.

Most of all, that Mista loves him. Mista loves him.

And Shuji-]

I love you, I love you so much...

[Even if it's said into Mista's chest, the words are clear. Shuji needs them to be clear. Mista should know without a doubt, for the rest of his life, that Shuji loves him.]

[Oh. Shit, that's--]

Love you too.

[Which he sort of mumbles, because he's so overwhelmed and delighted and . . . what was he worried about, he doesn't even remember. Everything in the world that's bad or confusing disappears in the face of Shuji, who is so happy he really can't control himself. It's the best thing that's ever happened in Mista's whole life, he thinks, and he doesn't know what to say in response to it.]

[Suddenly tongue-tied as he is, he focuses on hugging Shuji tighter, and on kissing the top of his head, which is the only thing he can reach right now. Shuji loves him, it's stupid not to pepper him with the ten million kisses he obviously deserves.]

[Mista deserves a ten million kisses too, and it's harder to kiss him from this position. Who wants to be kissed on the shirt?

So as much as the kisses make him feel warm and fluttery, he has to pull back for a second and set his hand on Mista's cheek, gently tilt his jaw lower so that Shuji can lean back in and kiss him. Soft, sweet, chaste.

He's never been so nervous in his life about kissing someone. Not even his first time, or when he had braces and was scared of hurting somebody's lip. Those kisses weren't important. This one is.]

[So: Shuji kisses him.]

[It's sweet and gentle. It's over and done before Mista really has time to adjust to the fact that it's happening. It's the kind of kiss Mista thought Shuji might give him, when he thought about it, which was a lot--but at the same time, he was in no way ready for it.]

[His eyes stay closed and his lips slightly parted for a few dazed moments after Shuji kisses him. He's flushed and startled and overwhelmed and lots of things he doesn't have words for.]

[When he opens his eyes, he blinks down at Shuji and then touches his lips with the tips of his fingers. Shuji kissed him.]

. . . Wow.

[He's looking at Shuji right now like he's the eighth wonder of the world. Which--obviously he is? Just look at him.]

[It's a quick kiss. Shuji's definitely kissed people for longer, with tongue and everything, but that's not the kind of kiss this is.

When he pulls back, Mista is dazed. He doesn't even open his eyes right away, and when he does and he touches his lips like that - Shuji could just about die from how cute Mista's being.

Mista's perfect, who wants to look at him? (The only time Shuji will ever think that phrase.)

He beams at Mista, smiling so wide that it actually hurts his face a little.]

You don't get to have all the fun.

[He has gotten his revenge. Kissing revenge.]

[Mista's thinking of everything and nothing right now. His mind's buzzing with thoughts and at the same time totally blank. He wonders if his breath smells. Maybe he should've shaved before they had this conversation, he's definitely scruffier than he probably should be. Maybe he should shower, or change.]

[Shuji's smiling so much. It's making Mista's stomach flip pretty much nonstop.]

I've been thinking about kissing you for days.

[It comes out sort of soft, like a confession. He's still stunned, and it shows, but--]

Can I?

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject