Week 3, Saturday, post-trial: Hikage.

[thesettingsun]

[While Dazai hadn't meant to trigger Hikage with his words, there's no doubt that what he said brought up something very painful, and Dazai feels the tiniest bit responsible.

So, that's why he tracks Hikage down. It doesn't matter where, really.]

...How are you holding up?

Comments

[psychedelica]

[ he has limited patience for Dazai in general. When he's had one of the worst weeks in recent memory, and has withdrawn outside of the castle itself to hopefully find solitude, only to have Dazai interrupt it, he has even less patience than usual. Hikage sighs heavily when he spots him, but the vitriol in his voice and eyes is less directed than it has been in the past. ]

You're the last person I want to see right now.

[thesettingsun]

[Yeah, that's about what he expected. Dazai is undeterred.]

I'm sorry. I didn't mean to trigger you like that.

[psychedelica]

Obviously not. It's not like I knew about it, either.

[ the apology sits in his stomach, sour. ]

I don't want sympathy from you.

[thesettingsun]

Not my empathy either?

[Dazai's memories aren't always clear. They come back seemingly randomly, and most of them are unpleasant.

Dazai has spent some time curled up into a ball after a painful memory hits him. It's not quite the same - not everyone was there to see - but it's similar.]

[psychedelica]

You can't understand me.

[ he says this with absolute certainty. Clearly, he doesn't believe for a second that Dazai could understand what he's gone through. ]

[thesettingsun]

No one really understands each other.

[Not one single human being. This, Dazai believes with certainty.]

But I have had memories return to me after death. Ones that left me hyperventilating on the floor. I don't think that's completely dissimilar.

[psychedelica]

... So what? I've seen people regain their memories hundreds of times. It's always painful like that.

[ his soul has been stuck in the in-between for so long now; the only person who never learned anything about their past was him. ]

That doesn't make us similar.

[thesettingsun]

...No, I suppose it doesn't.

[He's not here to argue.]

I just wanted to apologize. And if there's anything I can do to make it up to you...

[psychedelica]

[ he snorts. ]

I didn't think you had it in you.

[ although Hikage doesn't blame him; as much as he finds Dazai annoying, it's not like he could have known about Hikage's past when even he didn't know about it. ]

If you're not going to kill me, then just go.

[thesettingsun]

[Of course Dazai isn't going to kill him, so-]

Take care.

[And he leaves the way he came.]