Week 3, Friday, post-investigation: Evan.

[thesettingsun]

[Dazai listens to the announcement of all that was found, and then returns to his room. He's flipping through the pages of Akutagawa's book when Evan returns.]

They're going to suspect me, aren't they. Because it's Fitzgerald.

[He doesn't turn to look at Evan.]

Comments

[selfinserting]

[When he comes back, he's still in a daze. This week, it doesn't feel... real. For him, Monika was different than the other victims. While all of them have hurt, this stings so much more. It's hard to accept.

Dazai's words, though, cut through some of that daze. Evan blinks, then takes in a breath.]

...I don't know. Maybe? But...

[It brings another level of stress that he hadn't considered.]

You just have to be careful. You'll, you'll be fine.

[thesettingsun]

[Monika was dear to him too, but right now he has to keep his focus on the most pressing concern. Execution.]

I didn't have anything to do with it. I don't know if they'll believe me, but.

[Dazai breathes in deeply. Breathes out for the same count.]

Someone who is telling the truth doesn't have anything to fear. Isn't that right?

[selfinserting]

[After a moment, he nods.]

Right. And - you were with me last night. I can tell them all that. You're not injured at all either, right? Besides... S-Since everyone knew he was guilty, that means he had a lot of enemies, not just you.

[thesettingsun]

I'm not injured, and I wouldn't murder him if I could help it.

[If he was chosen as a Blotter...

That doesn't matter.]

And if I knew about the murder, I wouldn't have chosen to investigate the place with the severed human fingers.

[selfinserting]

Y-Yeah. I mean, the fact that you know it looks, looks bad means... Why would have chosen, chosen someone that would make other people suspect you?

[A pause.]

Just make sure to, um - not get too, too defensive tomorrow.

[thesettingsun]

I'll do my best. ...I get defensive easily, but - I'll try. So I don't put you in danger.

[That's the only important part.]

[selfinserting]

[He exhales, shaking his head.]

That doesn't matter. Worry, worry about yourself.

[thesettingsun]

Of course your life matters? You're the one who's still alive.

They can summon another Dazai if they need to.

[It might take a long time, but eventually - eventually the library would pull him out of a book again.]

[selfinserting]

...That's not true.

[His eyes narrow slightly, expression pained, but it's not clear what he's referring to until he continues.]

You said... you could still get killed, right? So you're still alive. That means you, you still matter.

[thesettingsun]

I could get killed. If you see a large puddle of ink on the floor and no body, it's probably me.

[Just, casually discussing the state of his corpse.]

But you could summon another 'Dazai'. He'd be exactly like I was when I was first summoned. He wouldn't remember anything that happened here, but for all intents and purposes he would be me.

It's not as easy to get another Evan. I'm more replaceable than you are.

[selfinserting]

We don't, don't know if that's how it works here. What if they have a way to stop you from coming back...?

[He shakes his head.]

You aren't replaceable.

[thesettingsun]

They wouldn't summon me again here. But it's fine, isn't it?

[This is the expression Dazai has when things are Fine.]

If anyone dies, isn't it naturally better to kill someone who's already dead?

[selfinserting]

It's not - it's not fine! I...

[Without meaning to, his voice raises, before he stops himself and sucks in a breath.]

I can't... [He pauses to rephrase, to come closer to his point.] You can't leave.

[thesettingsun]

I won't, because that would put you in danger.

[Dazai doesn't understand the problem. It's not the first time Evan has shouted at him for something he just doesn't understand.]

[selfinserting]

But it's not okay if you just... It's not okay if that's the only reason. You shouldn't be, be okay with leaving at all, not just because I might get hurt.

[He's trying not to get upset, but he's searching for the right words to explain why it bothers him.]

tw: suicide mention

[thesettingsun]

...Why not?

[Dazai's trying. He's trying his very best to understand. But him being okay with not living - wanting to stop living - isn't new.

Why is Evan upset?]

[selfinserting]

Because you - matter. You matter to me.

[He rubs at his face.]

I don't, don't want to lose you, even if it's in a situation that wouldn't hurt me. That's why it's not, it's not okay.

[thesettingsun]

...You have some terrible taste in men.

[It's a joke, because how else does Dazai respond to that? Other than-]

I'm sorry.

[If people didn't worry about him, this wouldn't be so hard.]

[selfinserting]

That's a, a really weird to phrase it, but... That's not true.

[But those words are less heated than they were a moment ago.]

You don't, don't need to apologize.

[thesettingsun]

If I phrase things weirdly enough, maybe you'll laugh.

[He hates to see Evan so upset over him.]

[selfinserting]

[That does, in fact, make him laugh, even if he still sounds stressed.]

That's, that's a really weird strategy.

[thesettingsun]

It's that or bad pickup lines.

[Since drugs aren't available.]

[selfinserting]

[A pause.]

I'm, like, twenty years younger than you.

[thesettingsun]

And taken, I know. But nothing makes me laugh like bad pickup lines.

Are you made of silk? Because you're fine.

[selfinserting]

[Despite everything, a smile does tug at the edges of his lips, even if he looks completely embarrassed.]

How many of these do you, you even know?