Dazai Osamu (
thesettingsun) wrote2018-06-23 10:22 pm
Week 2, Saturday, post-trial: Waver.
[Late in the evening, Dazai finds Waver.
He has a slap mark on his face, but possibly more notably, his expression is... nervous. He's thought through what he's going to say, but it's still difficult to say it.]
...Can I ask for some advice?
He has a slap mark on his face, but possibly more notably, his expression is... nervous. He's thought through what he's going to say, but it's still difficult to say it.]
...Can I ask for some advice?

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he blinks wearily, taking note of the slap mark, but obviously exhausted over the whole ordeal. and, despite the occasional animosity between them, waver nods towards dazai. ]
Of course. What troubles you?
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...So, I'm not very empathetic. [Complaining about Natsuo when his dead body is right there.] And it takes someone sitting me down and explaining why you can't just murder someone, even if that might help two innocent people and you hated their guts anyway, for me to even start to understand why that's a problem. [For anyone besides the would-be-victim, at least.] I don't expect to become a 'good' person here if I never did during my lifetime.
But I don't want to make myself a target and put my partner in danger, and... I have trouble telling what parts of myself are just irritating and what would put a target on my back for being a 'bad person'.
[He understands that he's annoying. He owns that. But he's not okay with putting Evan in danger because he's a 'bad person', and he can't even tell which parts of him are morally wrong, because his moral compass doesn't work that way.]
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it's difficult to forget the fight that he and reyna had just hours ago about this very same topic. technically, the pragmatic thing to do is to simply kill someone else in order to allow ion to have a partner. waver recognizes this. and, although this is not just pragmatism but also levels of pettiness, he can see dazai's reasoning as well.
he sighs. with his words chosen, he begins to talk. ]
You have to remember that you are not an isolated being. None of us are. Though you are merely concerned about your partner--with good reason, mind you--you have to remember that Francis Fitzgerald is a person as well. A person with relationships that extend to others that care for him, in whatever way that may be.
[ he places his hand on his chin, looking at dazai as if trying to analyze him. ]
You...hold deep grudges. For petty reasons, too. Like a temperamental dog that bites the hand of every person that displeases you. Or, no, you don't bite. You merely bark, for the most part. But the effect is the same, in the end. People become angry, and, when tensions are heightened like in today's trial, you or your partner may end up dealing with the consequences.
[ he sighs. ]
How would I control that, if I were you? With silence. Sometimes, such as this moment, you need to know when to simply shut up. Even if you hate the man or if you don't care about his sob story, it's better to keep those negative opinions to yourself, instead of publicly stating them. [ he gestures at the slap mark ] Next time, he may do more than that.
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[Dazai bites his tongue. Some people like dogs, even though they're horrible. Keep your negative opinions to yourself, Dazai. Practice here, so that when you're in front of someone you hate, you can keep quiet instead of incurring their anger.
God he hates dogs.]
...Not talking about things I hate is probably the most difficult thing I've ever been asked to do. Even if Akutagawa-sensei asked, I'm not sure if I could manage. ...But I'll try.
[If he dies, that's not really an issue, but Evan should survive.]
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[ keeping his opinions to himself? waver's practically become a master at it, after nearly ten years of being surrounded by snotty aristocrats that could kill him with a snap of their fingers. ]
You can talk about them with people you trust. But openly like in the trial? I don't advise it.
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...Thanks for the help.
[It's awkward to come to Waver for advice when they very rarely get along, but Dazai couldn't think of anyone else to ask.]
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[ it's exactly what waver does. that, and take up shitty habits to cope with the stress. the gaming is the least offender.
however, he nods towards dazai. ]
Any time. Even if we do not get along, I don't believe it's right for you to draw a target on yourself or your partner due to your inability to see your own faults. [ waver? kindness? impossible for more than five seconds. ]
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[That's not super helpful.]
And you yelled at me for flirting with you about the same volume as you yelled at me for trying to kill someone. Or louder. But I don't think you're about to kill me for that?
[...it comes out as more of a question than he would have liked.]
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[ he says that simply, and offers no more explanation beyond that. ]
That said, everyone else was already yelling at you. I supposed that you would have gotten the message one way or another.
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[Thank god for Evan, really.
Also it was murder with a point???]
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[ he shrugs ]
Communicate with your partner, too. Maybe he will be able to point where you've failed and what you can do to fix it.
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[Dazai doesn't do well with being yelled at. Unfortunately, that's the natural response to someone threatening murder.]
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[ he makes a mental note to give evan a word of thanks in the future, but for now, he keeps his attention on dazai. ]
It's difficult to accept when you're wrong. And though your proposal was not wrong in itself, it was your intentions that were wrong in the first place. [ he sighs ] You didn't intend to kill Francis with the safety of either Ion in mind, did you?
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It was in mind. It just wasn't at the forefront of my mind.
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[ waver sighs ]
Well, there's nothing that can be done about it. However, do your best to not take things too close to heart, Shuji. You may not be empathetic, but you are extremely sensitive and are no doubt upset. [ and, for a second, something akin to worry flashes on waver's face, before he looks away. ] I simply don't want any more blood spilled, and that includes yours and Evan's. And if that means advising you on how not to be an idiot, then so be it.
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But he's not here, and for that, Dazai is grateful.]
...Thank you. Can I do anything for you? Besides writing I don't have all that many skills, but...
[It's easier to repay a favor now than to have it hanging over his head, even if Waver probably wouldn't leverage that into something painful.]
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[ waver looks incredibly surprised by the offer, an eyebrow raised in clear confusion.
he shakes his head. ]
I didn't do this because I wanted a payment. Advising is one of the things I'm moderately good at and if I can help you improve yourself, then that's payment enough for me.
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I'd feel better if I repaid you somehow... I don't think you'd hold this over my head later, but, you know. Circumstances being what they are.
[He doesn't want to be in anyone's debt in murder castle, even if he mostly trusts them.]
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Write something, perhaps. You said that's what you're good at, yes? Then use it to write a short story. It can be about anything you wish.
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I'll write you something amazing. A better story than anything in the library.